Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
