just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
