so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
