Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
