My girlfriend figured out who you are.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
