D3 body, D1 cock
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
