Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
