she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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