If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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