She's JV to your varsity
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
