Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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