I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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