Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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