Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
