He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
