DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize