If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
