don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
