i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
