I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
