I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
