Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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