Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
