Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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