im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
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Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
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7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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