About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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