On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
