and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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