yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
