k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
