He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
