I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
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It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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