new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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