but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
