if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
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