no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize