I just cut my nipple shaving
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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