I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Your cock deserves a montage
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
