absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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