It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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