God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I did not marry a roomba.
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