Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
