yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
