Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
