I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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