What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I love you.
Bad choice
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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