I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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