Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
found the other keg... it's in the tree
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
