I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize