whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Do vagina's smell?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
