it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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