god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
