Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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