my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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