I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
