Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize