I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I lost the right to judge tonight
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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