Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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