Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
