i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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