those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
