AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
