Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I want a musical about memes.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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