i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
